You stand in front of the mirror yanking at your waistband, then change outfits again because somehow nothing feels like it belongs on your body right now.
The Badass Blueprint presents
You are not too old, too busy, or too f*ing broken for your body to feel better.
The Badass Blueprint 8 Week Results Accelerator is the full 8-week, all-in-one blueprint for women 40+, kicking off with The Metabolic Accelerator, where clients can lose 5–15 lbs in their first 21 days..... then you keep building from there with a plan that actually fits your life.
We startNov 8Only 10 spots
If this feels uncomfortably familiar...
Your body has become the thing you think about in every quiet minute you get.
You’re handling work, people, responsibilities, all of it..... and you’re still wondering why your clothes fit differently, why you’re wiped out by the afternoon, and why the habits that used to work don’t seem to be doing a damn thing now.
You see a group photo and your first instinct is to zoom in, pick yourself apart, then quietly make sure you are not in the next one.
By 2pm, your brain feels fuzzy, your patience is thin, and the coffee that used to help is now doing exactly nothing.
You’ve been doing what you were told was “right” for years, and your body still isn’t giving you a return on all that effort.
Why what you’ve tried hasn’t worked
Eating clean is not a strategy when your blood sugar, hormones, stress, and gut are all part of the problem.
You can eat the salad, skip the wine, drag yourself to the workout, and still feel bloated, tired, and pissed off because nobody taught you how these pieces work together..... so you keep trying harder at the one thing you can control while the bigger picture keeps running the show.
Cortisol isn’t just a stress buzzword.
Cortisol is part of your stress response. When you’re under pressure all the time and never really come down, it can make sleep, hunger, cravings, energy, and your patience feel all over the place..... and that’s a rough place to make good decisions from.
Blood sugar can make a decent day go sideways.
Big dips and spikes can leave you starving, foggy, and ready to eat whatever’s closest, then convinced you “blew it.” You didn’t..... your body was looking for fast energy because it wasn’t getting a steadier rhythm.
Hormones change the rules.
When hormones shift, your body can respond differently to food, movement, sleep, and stress than it did a few years ago. That doesn’t mean you’re stuck..... it means you need a plan built for what’s happening now, not one you copied from your old self.
Gut health shows up in your actual day.
When digestion is off, you can feel puffy, uncomfortable, unpredictable, and over it. We work on the practical pieces that help you feel less inflamed and more steady without turning food into another full-time job.
Meet The Badass Blueprint 8 Week Results Accelerator
You’re getting the full program, not a watered-down group version somebody slapped together for a launch.
You’ll get the exact blueprint to follow, all in one place..... The Metabolic Accelerator, custom nutrition, workouts, daily activities, weekly lessons, NORA, the vaults, and coaching that helps you use it all when life gets busy. The only difference is you won’t have private 1:1 calls. You’ll get group support through the VIP Community, daily live office hours, and group coaching calls instead.
Weeks 01–03↗
The Metabolic Accelerator
You start by getting your metabolism and blood sugar working for you instead of against you, so you can see what happens when the plan actually matches what your body needs.
Weeks 04–08↗
Custom Calibration: Dialing It In For Your Body
Once your metabolism's moving, we fine-tune your nutrition, workouts, and daily habits around how your body actually responded..... so the results keep coming and the plan fits your real life, not just a perfect three weeks.
What you get: the exact all-in-one blueprint..... the plan, food help, workouts, lessons, vaults, and the tools to use them when your calendar, energy, and life aren’t cooperating.
How support works: with Jess and her team, daily live office hours, the functional medicine practitioner, and the group..... not through private 1:1 calls.
The kickoff phase
The Metabolic
Accelerator
You’ve probably tried to lose weight by cutting harder, working out more, and hoping your body eventually gets the memo. The Metabolic Accelerator takes a different route..... it’s designed to get your metabolism and blood sugar working for you instead of against you, so you can stop fighting the same f*ing uphill battle every day.
We’re not handing you the protocol on a sales page. You’ll get it inside the exact all-in-one blueprint, along with the custom nutrition, activity, workouts, food support, coaching, and accountability that make it useful instead of just interesting.
In the first 21 days
Clients can lose 5–15 lbs in their first 21 days with The Metabolic Accelerator.
Individual results vary.
This is the part that gets the ball moving..... then we help you keep it moving without going back to the same old cycle.
What’s inside
The exact blueprint to follow..... all in one place, so you can quit piecing your plan together from a hundred different tabs.
Your Exact Blueprint
The full plan to follow, all in one place..... so you aren’t trying to build a strategy out of half-finished notes, podcast advice, and whatever you found at 11pm.
The Metabolic Accelerator
Your kickoff phase gets your metabolism and blood sugar moving in the right direction, so you can see progress early instead of spending weeks wondering whether anything’s happening.
Custom Nutrition
You’ll know what to eat and why it matters for your body, your schedule, and your goals..... without living on a sad little salad or tracking every bite forever.
Workouts
You’ll have workouts that support what you’re trying to do, so movement helps you feel stronger and more capable instead of becoming another thing you skip and feel guilty about.
Daily Activities
You’ll get the daily actions that keep the plan connected to your real life, because what happens between calls matters more than a perfect week on paper.
Weekly Lessons
We’ll cover mindset, habits, and the stuff that makes change stick, so you can stop starting over every Monday and understand what to do when a hard week hits.
NORA
Your AI-powered meal-prep, meal-planning, and all-things-food assistant..... so the question of what you’re eating doesn’t keep becoming a whole damn project.
Meal Prep & Recipe Vault
Access the full meal-prep and recipe vault, with recipes and holiday guides ready when you need more than another vague suggestion to “eat better.”
Cooking Classes
Use the cooking classes inside the vault when you want food support that actually makes your week easier, not more complicated.
Holiday Planning
You’ll get live holiday-planning calls and recipes, so the season doesn’t have to turn into the same old “I’ll start again in January” conversation.
Coaching Call Library
Get access to every coaching call we’ve ever done in the program..... including a full year of call replays, which is an insane value on its own.
TBB VIP Community
Ask the question you almost talked yourself out of asking, get perspective from women who get it, and stop feeling like you’re the only one whose body got weird overnight.
Daily Live Office Hours
Get daily live office hours with the entire team, including Jess and the functional medicine practitioner every week..... so the specific stuff you’re dealing with doesn’t have to sit unanswered.
Group Coaching Calls
You’ll get the why behind the plan, practical next moves, and answers to questions you didn’t even know how to ask yet because somebody else finally said it out loud.
Why group works
You’ll hear another woman ask the question you thought was only yours..... and it changes what you’re willing to do next.
You don’t need people blowing smoke up your ass when you’ve had a rough weekend. You need a room where someone can say, “I went off the rails and now I want to quit,” then get a useful answer that helps her move forward instead of a lecture about being perfect.
Group coaching means you learn from the coaching happening around you, you borrow a little momentum when yours is low, and you stop making every hard moment mean you failed. It’s a hell of a lot easier to keep going when you’re not trying to solve every problem alone in your own head.
The TBB framework
We work on what’s actually getting in the way, because your body and your life don’t stay in separate little boxes.
Mindset
Stop letting one hard meal, missed workout, or stressful day turn into a reason to scrap the whole week.
Habits
Build the repeatable things that keep working when your calendar gets loud and your motivation is nowhere to be found.
Hormones
Understand the shifts that can change how your body feels and responds, so you’re not using outdated rules against yourself.
Metabolism
& Gut Health
Use food, movement, recovery, and digestion support that helps your body feel more steady in real life.
Meet Jessica
Jessica built TBB for women who are tired of looking successful on paper while their body feels like a full-time side project.
Jess Samson is a functional health coach, cancer survivor, former corporate sales exec, hormone nerd, and adventure junkie..... but she didn’t build this from a place of having it all figured out. For years, she did all the “right” things: clean eating, hard workouts, supplements, and crushing it at work..... while feeling bloated, exhausted, anxious, and close to burnout.
Then cancer and surgical menopause at 33 forced everything to stop. Jess got resourceful, found the right mentors, and rebuilt her health with strategy and consistency instead of crash diets or two-a-days. That experience is why The Badass Blueprint is practical, personal, and built for what’s actually happening in your body and your life.
She’s been running The Badass Blueprint for seven years after leaving a corporate job where she felt like she was “selling my soul for a paycheck.” Jess and her team bring the tools, frameworks, and coaching..... you bring your actual life, including the messy parts, and you ask for help when you need it.
Client proof
Before-and-afters, client messages, and real-world wins from women who stopped trying to figure this out alone.
Real women, real messages, real before-and-afters..... this is what happens when you stop trying to figure it out alone and actually have a plan and a team behind you.
Client results shown are individual results. Individual results vary.
Before you join
This group works best when you’re ready to quit trying to muscle your way through the same problem by yourself.
This may be for you if...
- You’re tired of forcing your body into somebody else’s formula.
- You can make room for real changes that fit your life, even when it isn’t perfectly calm or organized.
- You want the full TBB plan with coaching and a group that keeps the conversation useful.
- You’re ready to stop consuming advice in silence and start using a plan.
This won’t be your fit if...
- You want private 1:1 coaching calls as part of the program.
- You want lab testing included in this group offer.
- You’re looking for a passive course with no coaching conversations or community participation.
The details
Enrollment closes Nov 6
Eight weeks can look very different when you stop guessing and finally have the exact blueprint to follow..... all in one place.
You don’t need to show up with everything figured out. You need the plan, the food help, the workouts, the vaults, and people who can coach you through the parts that usually knock you off track..... that’s exactly what this group is for.
StartsNov 8
Spots10
Led byJess and her team
Questions that matter before you say yes
You’ve got questions, and you should..... this is your time, money, and body, so you need clear answers before you sign up.
How much time should I plan for each week?
Plan on 45 minutes a day, plus time for live calls if you want them. The live group calls are Tuesday at 12 and 5pm EST, plus daily live office hours.
Are the calls live or recorded?
The group calls are live at 12 and 5pm EST on Tuesdays. They’re recorded and uploaded within 24 hours.
What if I miss a call?
Calls are recorded and in your app by the next day.
What if I travel during the 8 weeks?
Travel is not a reason to wait. Your nutrition, workouts, and daily activities come with you, the recordings are there if you're in a different time zone, and learning how to stay on track when your routine gets blown up is honestly one of the most valuable things you'll practice in here... because life doesn't stop for eight weeks just because you started something.
Do I need a gym?
No. Your workouts can be done at home with dumbbells, bands, and a step, so you're not stuck if you don't have a membership or your schedule doesn't leave room to drive anywhere.
I've tried everything. Why would this be different?
Because you've probably been handed a plan and told good luck, and that's not what this is. You get the exact blueprint to follow in one place..... starting with the Metabolic Accelerator, then custom nutrition, workouts, daily activities, NORA, the vaults, weekly lessons, and coaching support. You don't get a badge of honor for suffering through another plan alone.
Why is the first group $497?
This is the intro price for the first group. Future groups will be $797, so if you want the full all-in-one blueprint at the first-group price, this is the window for it.
How is this different from the 1:1 program?
It’s the same TBB plan our 1:1 clients follow..... the Metabolic Accelerator, custom nutrition, workouts, daily activities, weekly lessons, NORA, and the vaults. The difference is how you get support. Instead of a private coach and private calls, you get Jess and her team through group coaching calls, daily office hours, and the VIP Community, and labs aren’t included. So the plan is all there..... you just bring your questions to the group instead of a 1:1 call.
Do I get private 1:1 calls?
No. This is a group program, so all of your coaching happens on the group calls, in daily live office hours, and in the VIP Community. If you know you want private calls with a coach, our 1:1 program is a better fit: Book a Goal Chat with Jess.
Does this include labs?
No, labs aren't part of this program. You still get the full plan and the support that goes with it, and if you want functional lab testing, that's included in our 1:1 program: Book a Goal Chat with Jess.
What happens after the 8 weeks?
You’ve got options. You can keep going with the group, take everything you learned and run with it on your own, or upgrade to our full VIP program with labs..... and if you upgrade, your group investment goes toward it, so you’re not starting from scratch or paying twice to keep the momentum going.
Can I pay in installments?
Yes. You can pay $497 in full or do 2 payments of $299.
What is the refund policy?
No refunds are available for any reason because you'll be granted access to our proprietary systems as soon as you enroll.
Can I use HSA/FSA funds?
Yes. HSA/FSA funds may be used if you’re approved..... and we can help you with the process.
The group starts Nov 8
If you’re tired of starting over, come get the exact blueprint to follow..... all in one place.
You’ll get the Metabolic Accelerator, the food support, NORA, the vaults, holiday planning, daily live office hours, and group coaching that doesn’t disappear when your week gets messy..... so you can quit collecting more advice and start using a real plan with real support.
Claim the intro priceEnrollment deadline: Nov 6